So doesn't count
by The General Electric
Summary: Gaara and Naruto discuss the Uchiha's crashing of the Kage Summit, which eventually turns towards just how useless Sasuke really is.


"Uzumaki Naruto? What are you doing here?"

Said Blonde, who had been staring out over the snowy fields of Iron Country, showed no signs of noticing him, but continued to stare out quietly.

"Naruto, are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said softly, shifting his eyes to Sabaku no Gaara, Kazekage of Suna and former Jinchuriki of the Ichibi no Shukaku; "Just finished a talk with, get this, Uchia fucking Madara of all people."

"Oh? I figured he was just some sort of genjutsu related hallucination placed upon us by your former teammate. But I see I was wrong."

Naruto turned fully a wry grin on his face; "Peh, Sasuke was never big on Genjutsu, always wanted the flashiest… Wait, wait, wait, Madara talked to you too? And you fought Sasuke?" a nod; "Damn, it was probably an epic fight too. Can't believe I missed it… eh oh well, no point crying over spilt milk, I'll just let his face become acquainted with Rasenshuriken later on."

"Oh? You no longer wish to bring him back to Konoha? What's bought about the sudden change?"

"Eh, not really sudden, been a while coming now, probably since I took down Nagato, er Pain that is, you know Rinnegan, De-facto leader of Akatskui?"

"Yes, I remember hearing something to that effect from your Rokudaime…"

"Bah, that old cripple isn't fit to wipe the first 5 Hokage's ass's, let alone be referred to as one." Naruto spat violently.

"I… see." The kage spoke slowly, surprised at the vehemence in his friend's voice.

"So anyway, what'd 'Tobi' talk to you guys about?"

* * *

"HAHA-HAHA-HAHA The Moon? Seriously?" Naruto roared, his laughter echoing across the mountain range.

"Apparently" Gaara smirked, the ridiculousness of the whole thing finally regestring with his brain.

"Bwahahaha! Oh that's just too funny… oh, and Sasuke apparently wants to destroy Konoha? Bah, the little bitch is just a little late to that party"

"You seem incredibly… at ease with this, do you not see this as problematic?" the red head asked slowly.

"Do you?" the blonde returned with a raised eyebrow; "Cause quite frankly I don't see what everybody's worried about."

"Well Sasuke fought off myself, and my peers all at once, and insanity notwithstanding, Madara seems quite powerful."

"Eh, I'd say let him form the Juebi, just to see it rip apart his body, if it wouldn't mean mine and that Kumo guy's death, that and I'm pretty sure a rampaging Juebi would be a bad thing?" Naruto asked.

"Presumably." Gaara answered.

"And besides, he's old. All I gotta do is dodge for a good bit, and wait for him to drain all his chakra, maybe break a hip, hell I might just be able to push some natural chakra into the chakra cloud he turns into when he becomes intangible, and see what happens"

"Natural chakra?"

"Yeah, it's… well the chakra of nature really." He lamely finished.

"I see, and your former teammate? Why aren't you worried about him?"

Naruto snorted. "Well for one he's somewhat of a drama queen, no real skill to back up his boasting."

"He bested Itachi."

"Guy was half dead and blind, hell the guy WANTED Sasuke to kill him."

"Okay then, the Hachibi container."

"The guy escaped, in rather good health too, while very nearly slaughtering Sasuke and that little pack of attack dogs he has at his heels."

"He just fought off four Kages."

"Who were about to kill him before Madara saved his ass."

"Okay then, you."

"He had the cursed seal."

"You had Kyubi"

"Yes but Kyubi's chakra destroys any sort of logic in my head, replacing it with pure animal instinct the cursed form only makes him more angry and prone to violence. His minds still his to command."

"He stuck a chidori through your lung, BEFORE you started with the Fox's chakra, if not for the fox, he would've won."

"Well it's a good thing I had the Fox nay?"

"There's no winning with you is there?"

"What can I say, I find that a world where Sasuke actually wins a fight on his own strength, to be a world where up is purple and left is tequila."

"That made no sense at all."

"Sure it did, you just have to understand the nonsense that makes it sensible."

"THAT doesn't make…"

"Oh, just shut up." Naruto pouted. 

* * *

  
**Meanwhile**

"And with that, Danzo, you die." Uchiha Sasuke smirked at the corpse that the corpse of the former village elder and temporary Rokudaime.

Karin looked up above her, lying in a pool of her own blood, blinking incredulously. '_Why does the sky look purple?'_

**

* * *

**

**Ah plot bunnies you whores.**

**Anyway, the first fight Sasuke won fully, that were actually staple to plot development (That guy from the Chunin Exam Prelims for example isn't staple to plot development) or on his own power UNTIL Danzo, and even then the guy's old, regardless of physical augmentations, be it the Sharing-Arm or Woody Allen sitting on his shoulder, plus Danzo sorta suicide bombed himself, and the only reason he didn't take Sasuke with him cause Madara's a hacker, so still sort of murky imo.  
**


End file.
